Light inaugurates bodies. It then bounces around them, making them finally visible to the naked eye. Light gives the aerial stripper’s nipple its hardness while it reveals the texture of the immense fabric that coils around her slender trunk…

Light lands all this beauty inside my retina. Light has a different shade in Paris. Weren’t Goethe’s famous last words: light, light, more light…?

Some woman’s oversize purse hits my knee as she passes by and unwillingly brings me back from the last corner of my mind.

I’m sitting in my usual table at club Sous-Deuce. The lights are somewhat bright. Patrons behind me are indulging already. My date is nowhere in sight. My brain’s hammering me with one piercing question: why are these lights so damn brig…………………

Suddenly, club Sous-Deuce goes totally dark.

“Is this a prank?” someone shouts from the crowd.

I hear some of the girls behind the velvet rope giggle. I can hear the quick un-buttoning of clothes and simultaneously intense ooohs, mmmhs and aaaaahs!!!

In total darkness, some remote notion of pleasure insinuates into my lips in the form of a smile… I relax back in my seat: I’m happy I brought my body to this location… my pulse tells me something tantalizing is about to start…

And suddenly it does:

A clarinet hits it and then a drum roll then Cat Woman –or someone like her- is spiraling from the roof on down. Goddamn it goddamn it… it’s so very refreshing to be surprised at Club Sous-Deuce time after time…

Cat Woman’s suicidal spiral suddenly comes to a halt. Her body, perfectly horizontal, bounces gracefully against all laws of gravity just a few inches from the ground. In her face, -how does she do it? - a bright, childish smile.

Wait, I think this is… but of course it is... Natasha? Or is it Svenka? Damn, it’s embarrassing being this close and this blind… to make it worse, they turn off again the lights…

“Ladies and Gentleman” I hear the MC announce over the PA while I think I can make out Busty Mamma right behind him. “Welcome to club Sous-Deuce, yes, you can now say it: c-l-u-b  s-e-d-u-c-e… your naughty spot for late night high caliber entertainment…  For salivation purposes, let me tell you what we have lined up for you tonight…”

I think this is the last part I heard consciously. I briefly remember that my date had just arrived. We both sat down after the official kiss and between wine, chat and spectacle I must have to account for the almost two hours that went by.

My date insists I was a bit drunk after the show was over. Actually she says I was drunk ‘during’ the show as well. She says I missed all the news acts. What new acts? I ask. She pulls the night’s program and begins reading in a nagging, motherly voice:

“Produced and Directed by Nathalie Yves Gaulthier, Co-Produced by Camilla Davenport and Dreya Weber, Written by Nathalie Yves Gaulthier and Dreya Weber, Choreography by Sal Vassallo, Shannon Beach, Aerial Choreography by Dreya Weber, Original Music by Michael Saxell, Lyrics by Jennifer Saxell and Michael Saxell, Original Swedish lyrics by Jacques Werup…

She continues like a machine:

… A strong cast of Broadway actors, combined with the talents of singers, trapeze artists, dancers and comedians. Special guest artists performing include: Dreya Weber (actress and solo aerialist/choreographer: Cher “Living Proof” tour/Madonna/Pink), Shannon Beach (Broadway: Original cast. Saturday Night Fever, Cher Living Proof tour), Sal Vassallo (Cher “Living Proof tour, Reba McIntyre tour), and Stef Tovar (EVITA! National tour)”…

She slashes me and reads the slashes, commas, parenthesis and everything… God.

OK, finally I accept it: 'I was a bit out of it'. 'Now', I ask her, 'can you please explain to me who was that woman with the sword precariously balancing from her head going in and out all night?'

The Facts:

What: Behind the Velvet Rope
Where: Stage A - 3025 Olympic Blvd. - Santa Monica, CA 90404
When: February 14-19 @8pm
How much: All tickets are $25.00

To reserve online, go to www.gaulthierartists.com